


You're My Nova

by luniellar



Category: Jeon Jungkook - Fandom, Kpop - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Comfort/Angst, Depression, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light Angst, Love, Love Triangles, Male-Female Friendship, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Depression, Romance, Self-Insert, Singing, Sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luniellar/pseuds/luniellar
Summary: Nova Sohn comes from a family of royal blood and old money. There was not a single thing in the world that she couldn't ask for. Everything she wanted, she could have. When she meets Yoongi and Jungkook, the guys who had no business in her life whatsoever, she's forced to be the exploding star that she was named after.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook & Original Female Character(s), Jeon Jungkook/Original Character(s), Jeon Jungkook/Original Female Character(s)/Reader, Min Yoongi | Suga/Original Character(s), Min Yoongi | Suga/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

**Jungkook Jeon**

_you are many things_   
_to many people, but just_   
_one thing to me: you_   
_\- j.s. parker_

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

**Min Yoongi**

_it's always been yours,_   
_i cannot find another_   
_this heart will beat for._   
_\- s.l. gray_

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

**Nova Sohn**

_memories_   
_are what warm you up_   
_from the inside._   
_but they're also_   
_what tear you apart._   
_\- haruki murakami_


	2. Welcome to Last Semester of Senior Year

_The winter sun was such a strange phenomenon to me. Well, at least in my mind. My memories of winter only consisted of overcast skies and the muddy ground that looked like vanilla and chocolate swirl ice cream after the snow. Wasn’t that strange? I never associated blue skies or the Vitamin D nourishing sun with winter. My mind replayed my grandmother’s voice as she yelled from the front door to be careful in my new boots.The canary yellow rain boots my uncle got me for Christmas sinking into the mud, taking the pureness of the snow with it._

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

I smiled at the memory as I got in the all black Cadillac Escalade that pulled up in front of the gates. I didn’t have to check the time. The car always pulled up at 8:30am on the dot. The new car scent filled my nose as I looked to Ernest who tilted his head to his right to acknowledge me.

“Good morning, Lady Sohn. Welcome to the first day of your last college semester.” Ernie beamed and I cringed mentally as I smiled back at him.

“Top of the morning to you, Ernie. Nice ride.”

“All thanks to you.”

After a nod, he looked back to the road and the car started moving. Ernie told me that it was a habit and he couldn’t stop himself so we agreed that he would be able to use that horrendous 16th century talk only in private. My mind tried to drag me to another memory when Ernie addressed me as Lady Sohn when he came to pick me up at a friend’s birthday party at the beginning of Freshman year. I shook my head out of it. Maybe that was the start of it all.

_Not now, Nova._

Some classical music that I didn’t care much about played in the background and I threw my large purse filled with my laptop and school supplies next to me. I straightened my back and leaned against the plush leather seats looking out at the busy street of the city. I wanted to walk to class too. I definitely lived walking distance from campus, but I didn’t have a choice. Like many things in life. I sighed. My phone vibrated in my coat pocket and I quickly checked the message.

**JK**   
**Saved you a lab seat, Novs.**

I replied.

**Me**   
**Hopefully not anywhere next to you. :)**

I smiled to myself. Before I could put my phone back in my pocket, it vibrated again.

**JK**   
**Funny. I don’t want to partner up with Ash...ever. It looks like you are stuck with me this semester.**

I made an involuntary chuckle and I saw Ernie’s eyes shift to me on his rear view mirror. He smiled and I politely smiled back before turning back to my phone. Jungkook’s “funny” was our inside joke. It was his way of writing “lol,” “rofl,” and “lmao.”

**Me**   
**You are taking away the only ally I have left in this school.**

Ash was obsessed with Jungkook and everyone in the lab knew. Okay, everyone who knew her knew. She was also one the few friends I had in college so having her pissed at me didn’t really help my case either.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“What _does_ Jungkook like?!” Ash growled.

I shrugged as we plopped down on an empty bench after our third lap around the mall. My legs were killing me and the fact that we were all doing this for his ass was slowly starting to piss me off. _Why were **my** legs suffering because of **him**?_

I tried to suggest Amazon after our first lap around and she yelled at me saying that he deserved only the best. I didn’t understand what she meant by the best because the weighted blanket I bought on there changed my life. The only people walking around us were covered in mink coats (definitely not the faux ones here), large cat eye sunglasses that covered the majority of the face, and had at one security detail dressed in a full suit on their tail. I looked around the spacious, but fairly empty mall.

Gucci, Prada, Yves Saint Laurent, Louis Vuitton…

_Yeah, I knew him enough that he didn’t want anything here._

Jungkook’s appearance alone screamed your typical trust fund baby. I knew because I was one too. He was always well dressed and to be completely honest, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him wear the same outfit more than once. His style was casual, but he could convince you that everything he wore was designed for him. Did I mention he can rock a French tuck? My Fab Five favorite, Tan France would be proud.

His physical appearance was something to marvel about. He had it all. Jungkook Jeon had pale, porcelain perfect skin that contrasted against his red-tinted, black, raven hair. The red hue was only visible when you saw his hair under direct sunlight. You know the hormonal ache phase that your parents told you everyone goes through? _Yeah, his skin would laugh at every parent and their pubescent child._

His warm brown eyes were like pools of semi-sweet chocolate. Whenever he smiled, the skin around his eyes puffed up to perfection making him look adorable. _Yes, I said it_. He was adorable when he smiled. But, when you glanced at his profile, it screamed of _sex_. What does someone like me with a v-card still intact know about sex you ask? _I don’t._ I don’t know anything about it other than the porn that I watch and smut fiction that I read, but I knew the effect he had on girls. He smiled and they smiled back. When he glanced away, flashing his profile, they pressed their thighs together for dear life.

“Are you sure he doesn’t want that limited edition Louis wallet?” Ash asked.

“I don’t know what he wants,” I answered, exhausted. _I wanted to go home._

“Nova, you are literally the only person who knows him on a personal level,” she nagged. Then, her eyes flickered with an idea.

Oh no, not again.

“What are you getting him?” She asked.

“Nothing,” I answered, not-so-truthfully. I knew that I wanted to get him something, but like Ash, I also didn’t know what to get him. He wasn’t materialistic and that made it hard for me to think of something.

“Bullshit!” Ash snapped. “You are not getting your BFF anything?”

Yeah, my BFF.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Have a nice day, Lady Sohn.”

Ernie’s soothing voice pulled me out of my thoughts. The car was stopped in the familiar alleyway around the Science campus building. Despite Ernie’s suggestion to drop me off at the front of the building, I was adamant about being dropped off here. He didn’t know the kind of stares I got when I climbed out a black Escalade like someone important.

“Thank you, Ernie.” I replied back as I got out of the car.

When I opened the door to the lab, the class was almost full. I quickly glanced around the room and my eyes stopped when it met Jungkook’s chocolate puddles. His jaw was clenched, arms crossed, and he was glaring at me. _Why was he glaring?_ He definitely said “funny” in our text this morning and that had to be a sign he was in a good mood today.

I walked over, double checking around the space for Ash. No sight of her. Good, I wouldn’t know what to do with her ocean blue puppy eyes on me.

I reached the empty seat next to Jungkook and I sat down. His clean scent cut through the air and welcomed me. When I looked over at him, his eyes softened. That was the Jungkook I was more familiar with.

“Hi, grump pants,” I muttered, placing my bag down on the carpet floor and taking out my notebook and pen.

“Hi, late pants,” he replied.

“Class didn’t even start yet.”

He sighed. “As long as you got here before Ash.”

I rolled my eyes at him and flipped my notebook to an empty page. I looked around the room and I got awkward glances from the students in the classroom. The judgemental kind. The kind I didn’t want to be greeted with on the first day of the semester. When I was younger, my go-to superpower was the ability to read minds. Good thing that never came true.

_“That’s her…”_

_“No way! That’s Nova Sohn?!”_

_“Shhh! She’s going to hear you!”_

_“I can’t believe she had the guts to show up to school. Why didn’t she drop out already? Her family can buy a college.”_

_“You know what they say. The quiet ones are the ones you watch out for.”_

_“Look at the way she looks like Jungkook, she probably has him under her spell…”_

_"Poor baby..."_

I heard Jungkook clear his throat next to me. The faint whispers faded. I pressed my lips together and reached for the pen. My hands were trembling as scribbled the date on the corner.

_Yeah Nova, why didn’t you drop out? Why are you such a stubborn bitch?_

“1920?” Jungkook asked and I looked up at him, confused. He then pointed to the date I wrote.

**1/30/1920**

Without a word, I took my pen and slashed through it. I didn’t even bother rewriting it.

“Nov, it’s-” He started to speak and I cut him off. It wasn’t because I didn’t want him to reassure me, but I didn’t want any more of his pity. I already had enough of that from Ash, my family, and Ernie...

“How was your family vacation?” I asked, in a flat tone.

He didn’t answer. The hushed whispers started up again.

“You don’t have to bear it alone. I’m your ally too.”

He whispered, just loud enough for me to hear.


	3. Unravel

Ash pulled me aside in the hallway as soon as the lab ended. Her blue eyes, more crystal clear than the waters I saw in the Maldives last summer, stared back at me. I looked over at Jungkook who immediately took the cue and blended himself with the large crowd leaving the lab.

I raised both of my hands in defeat. Her eyes narrowed and settled into mine. “How could you take the seat next to my Kookie?”

_What did I say Jungkook? I have no allies here._

“Sorry, I would have sat next to you, but I couldn’t find you.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I would have sat next to her over Jungkook, but she would have sat next to him. One group would have asked to be a group of three and I would have conveniently ended up alone. That was just how things worked out for me in group activities.

Ash sighed. “My dad was asking me about Kookie over breakfast.”

_Huh?_ I let her continue.

Her beautifully tanned body soaked the sun from every window in this hallway. Her long blond hair glowed like a lion’s mane. She went on about how her dad asked if there were any interesting guys at school because he wanted to start preparing for her marriage. Apparently, he already had some candidates in mind. Sadness filled her eyes. I knew her mother married her father through an arranged marriage, but they were lucky. They actually fell in love with each other. _Some families kept wealth by sacrificing their young. It was just how things were._ In response to her father’s request, she started pitching Jungkook to him and he wanted to know more.

Talk about a casual breakfast conversation.

“I’m too young to be engaged,” she sighed, leaning against the wall.

“It’s going to be fine,” I reassured trying to sound like I believed my own words, “you are not going anywhere and _you sure as hell_ will not be getting engaged.”

Ash’s eyes filled with worry and I smiled back at her. I was good at faking smiles whenever I needed to. Ash, not so much. The corners of the lips tried their best to lift up, but the concern was too heavy.

“I have another class in 10 minutes. See you at lunch?”

I nodded and she was off on her way. Maybe I should text Jungkook to ask him for his schedule. As I reached for my phone I turned around and my forehead smacked into a hard surface.

_**Fuck.** _

I held my hand over my pounding forehead. I could feel the heat rising up to my palm. My eyes slowly moved up slender, male body. He had on a black, slim-fit denim with a beige chunky cable knit sweater. When I got to his face, I saw a frown casted over his face as his hazy brown-grey eyes locked with mine. His slightly wavy bangs covered his forehead and his lips pressed into a thin line. He was at least a head taller than me, and looked to be around the same height as Jungkook.

“Watch where you’re going,” he muttered. His voice was a deep soft rumble that lingered in the air after he spoke. But, the way he snarled the words through his teeth made everything sound… _cold_.

I was all down for apologizing. I admit it was _partly… okay, maybe all of my fault for swinging around like that_ , but his challenging attitude was not something I was going to offer my apologies for. I just stared blankly back at him.

“Are you a mute? Aren’t you going to apologize?”

Apologize?! My mouth dropped open in horror. _Did he just call me a mute? What if I was actually a mute? What the fuck was his problem?_

“I’m not apologizing to you,” I said back with my chin high, meeting his eyes. I dropped my hand down from my forehead.

I quickly learned that the frown I saw him wear when I bumped into him was not a frown. It was the kind of face you made at a minor inconvenience. What I was seeing now was his frown. His eyebrows narrowed at me and I swear I thought I saw his brown eye color shift to a slate gray.

“It was your fault,” he snapped.

“You just called me a mute,” I snapped back.

“Well, obviously you aren’t,” he chuckled. His chuckle was dark, the sound threw me into a string of memories that I had sealed away in my memory dungeon. I let out an involuntary wince and immediately bit my bottom lip down hard.

_Was it his voice? What was happening to me?_

The foundation I built with years of therapy and tears was crumbling beneath my feet.

His left eyebrow suddenly arched in genuine curiosity. No, no. This was not how I wanted this duel to go down. I turned my head to the side, hiding from his face.

“One, I’m not mute. Two, I’m not apologizing to your _rude ass_.”

I walked off. I wasn’t going to see him ever again. I replayed the image of his expression changing earlier. I sure was not going to entertain his day either. I made my way down the empty halls as my shoes tapped softly against the hard floor. I thoughtlessly roamed the halls of the building before I grabbed my phone to text Jungkook.

**Me**   
**Why are people so rude? What happened to chivalry?**

You know, they say being bullied sucks. But, honestly, it wasn’t all that bad. And dare I say it, there were some positives. Whenever I wasn’t in class, all I wanted to do was forget about people. I was always good at keeping myself busy and that’s what I did. I paid the school to allow me to cram my courses without stupid regulations to getting in my way. I finished my course load for two majors and a minor. After it all, I only had one final lab left to take in for my last semester of college.

My phone buzzed in my bag. I checked it.

**JK**   
**Haven’t you heard? It’s dead.**

Before I could reply, my phone vibrated again.

**JK**   
**You came down this hall 3 times and walked past me all 3 times. You okay?**

I peeled my eyes from my phone and glanced around until I saw a familiar figure tucked away leaning by the window that poured the bright winter sun. The ruby hue from his raven black hair that I liked so much gleamed. I smiled and he shrugged.

“Fourth times the charm, I guess.”

I walked over and leaned against the wall space next to him. My back met the cold concrete, but my right arm was surrounded by Jungkook’s warmth radiating from his body.

“You never answered my question,” he stated.

“I’m fine,” I answered, not trying to cringe at my own answer. I didn’t like people using that word and I was being a huge hypocrite.

“Hm,” he responded. I knew something was bothering him, but this was Jungkook. He never pushed boundaries and always kept a safe distance between him and me. Not just me, it was with all of his relationships.

“He crawled from my memories again,” I sounded desperate. I didn’t realize how fearful I sounded until the words escaped my lips. And this was me with Jungkook. I always overshared because for four years he listened without judgement. _I knew I was safe._

“Nova,” he whispered my name trying to warn me that I don’t have to go on.

“It was a chuckle, Jungkook. I heard a chuckle that reminded me of… it. _How pathetic is that?!_ ” I knew I couldn’t look at him. He had the warmest eyes that made me want to cry and cry until I had no tears. I just stared at the wall of colorful event posters across from us.

“It’s not,” he cooed.

Tears spilled from my eyes as I buried my face into my hands, sobbing silently. I felt his warm hand against my back. The little space of warmth gave me hope and a reminder that all you really needed was at least one person to be on your side. Wiping my tears, I looked up to Jungkook. His head was cocked to the side and his warm brown pools searched my face, looking for something.

I frowned at him. “Do I have something on my face?”

He took a step back, moving his hand from the small spot on my back. He walked to align himself directly in front of me. I carefully watched as he reached over and cautiously tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. His long sleek fingers delicately brushed against my ear sending chills down my spine. _I was confused. He had never done this before._

I always thought that he felt uncomfortable around me.

_Also, did someone just turn up the heat in this building? Why did every body part feel like it was burning?_

He slowly closed the space between us and rested his right palm on my cheek. With his thumb, he brushed a tear that I missed away. His warm hands felt so nice there. It always felt so nice on my back, I had no idea what his hands felt like on my face.

“Don’t cry,” he muttered so softly I could barely hear. “No one is worth your tears.”

I closed my eyes, focusing my mind on his words and hand caressing my left cheek. My heart beats echoed in my ears and I didn’t know what was happening to me.

_Why was my heart racing like this?_ Jungkook was just a friend… just a friend…

The hand moved and with it my eyes opened. Jungkook’s face was only an inch away from mine. I could feel his soft warm breath against my lips. I watched his eyes move from my lips to my nose and up to my eyes where they rested.

“Nova, I wonder all the time.”

A pause.

“I wonder what it would be like if I offered to carry some of your burdens after everything that happened from the beginning.”

Jungkook looked pained. His clean scent drenched the space between us. I placed my right hand over his left chest. His heart was underneath my palm, but I gently pushed him away and he took a step back in response.

“This is my battle,” I started, “I’m not strong enough for it now, but I know I can overcome it.”

He listened intently.

“You were and will always be my only truth. I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t here for me. Stop wondering and start living your life. You’ve done so much for me. If you say things like that, I feel like a shitty friend for dragging you into my mess of a life. You don’t need this.”

I lifted a faint smile, but he stared back at me. From down the hall, the classroom door opened with a loud thud and the students came pouring out. I watched as Jungkook’s lips moved. I couldn’t hear him, but I could read his lips. I read them so well that I could hear his voice saying the words in my mind.

_“_ _I need you.”_

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

_The lips crashed into mine. My lips were already so sore and swollen, but the teeth that sank into them didn’t care. I couldn’t move. It was a strange feeling seeing your limbs attached to your body, but not being able to move them. I’ve been crying out silently, begging over and over again to a god, deity, spirit, savior, who ever was out there to make it stop._

My eyes flew open as I jumped up from my bed. My entire body shook furiously, but familiarly.

It was just like the nightmares I had for years.

_Not again, not again. Please…_

I pressed my head into my trembling hands and let my mind replay my day like my therapist reminded me.

_You can’t let it take control of you, Nova. Start recalling your day._

As I thought through my morning routine, my body stopped shaking and my breathing was no longer erratic. I remembered Ernie’s face, Jungkook’s face, and Ash’s face. Then, I heard the chuckle. That chuckle that had me spiraling out of control. Shivers went down my spine as I pulled my blankets over my body.

I was right.

It was coming back to me.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

I had no excuse to be on campus since I only had one class a week, but here I was sitting in the small garden within the building dedicated to plant studies. I didn’t want to see my therapist again because I thought my situation last night was going to disappoint her. We worked so hard and I didn't want her to think that it was her fault. I didn’t know how I was supposed to deal with our relationship after the last interaction Jungkook and I had. I didn’t want to see Ash or Jungkook because I wanted to be off the grid today. And of course I am super lame and going off the grid meant hiding away at my own school. 

The sun was beaming down like yesterday. I was upset that mother nature couldn’t read my mood and send gloomy snow clouds my way. The plan was to stay here for another 30 minutes and head back into bed where I can attempt to get some sleep I missed out on last night. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to check on the text.

**JK**

**Lunch today?**

How did he know I was on campus. I recalled our last encounter and shook it out of my head. Yeah, a casual lunch should put us right back into place. I quickly replied back with another text before putting the phone away.

**Me**

**I'm feeling sushi today. :)**

_“Don’t do this, please.”_

His voice was strangely familiar, but I couldn’t see where it was coming from.

“Yoongi, do you know how much it hurts me you at my school? _Why are you following me?!_ ”

This was voice not familiar, but it belonged to a female.

“I told you, I switched schools for you. I want to be with you. Let me try this again.”

_Yoongi was… a stalker?_ As juicy as this conversation was getting, I felt like I was invading their privacy. I slowly got up from the wooden bench I was sitting on.

“Fuck off, Yoongi,” the female voice snapped back. “You’re being clingy as fuck and I want you out of my life.”

“Are you _fucking serious_? You asked me to be there for you! I promised you that I will and here I am!”

There was a quick pause before she spoke again, spitting venom into her words. “What a fucking joke. All of that was before when I loved you. Loved being a past tense. Now transfer back to where you came from, I don’t want to see your face.”

I stopped in place when I heard heels clacking against the hard concrete. Eventually when the sounds faded away, I stood there to make sure I wouldn’t run into any of them. After about five minutes of standing in the silence, I quickly walked praying that my leg would get me out of this situation as fast as possible.

Keeping my eyes glued to the floor, I sprint-walked across the steps. My legs pushed beneath me until my head collided with a soft thud. After yesterday, I knew the feeling of colliding against another body and this was it. My mind knew who I ran into, but my body refused to believe it.

“You have to be kidding me,” the familiar male voice I was eavesdropping on muttered.

When I looked up, the same exact hazy brown-grey eyes from yesterday locked with mine. My jaws dropped in shock as my mind connected the two together. The chuckling-nightmare-bringing-mute-calling-maniac from yesterday was the same clingy Yoongi that the anonymous female voice was talking to.

“Are your eyes just another accessory?” He snarled, running his hand through his soft waves in his hair.

I couldn’t think of anything witty and to be honest, I just wanted to run away. I didn’t say anything and he narrowed his eyes on me.

“Wait… if you are coming from there… were you eavesdropping on me?”

I immediately shook my head. After ignoring his first question, this was too fast of a denial and he knew. He knew that I had heard most of that conversation. He took a deep breath and he buried his face into his right hand.

_“Just go.”_

I didn’t expect him to let me go like that, but I seized the chance. I pushed my legs forward and walked the familiar steps out of the building. I quickly dialed Ernie’s number on the phone and asked him to come pick me up.

In the back of my mind, his voice played again. 

_“Just go.”_


	4. Never Not

_There, there sweet baby. Where is your rich and powerful daddy?_

_I shook my head at the dark figure who towered above me. I didn’t have any more tears to cry. I didn’t have any sense of time here. Has it been a day? A week?_

_His rough hands moved across my tied up legs. I closed my eyes and prayed that he would just cut them off. At least that way, I didn’t have to feel his disgusting hands on me anymore._

_Come on, you know I didn’t bite you yet._

_The chuckle._

_My scream._

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

I buried my face into my hand and the cold sweat smeared into my palms. Flashbacks of the past year came back to me. I glanced over at my clock across my dark room.

3:05AM

I sighed and rolled over in bed, pulling my legs to my chest. It had only been an hour since I fell asleep. I guess my nights of having 8 hour sleep were over. My eyes adjusted to the familiar darkness of my room, I looked over towards my end table knowing that my sleeping pills were still in there.

_Try to not take these unless you need them okay? You are doing a great job without them, let’s keep it that way._

Didn’t Einstein survive with an hour of sleep anyways? The first thing I had to do was distract my mind. I reached over and grabbed my phone and saw a text from Jungkook.

**JK**   
**Checking in, are you okay?**

No. I answered in my head.

**Me**   
**Sorry, I didn’t go on campus today. Hope lunch wasn’t too lonely without me. :P**

Was the tongue emoji too much? It definitely wasn’t me. After I pressed send, I realized he was probably sleeping and I should’ve just waited until tomorrow to text. Oh well. I opened my email and my phone vibrated with a message.

**JK**   
**Lunch was actually better without you.**

_Ouch?_ Also, why was he awake?

**Me**   
**Ow, my heart. My lunch was lame without you, thanks for asking. Why are you up?**

**JK**   
**Finishing up a lab. Also - I lied, I missed you. Why didn’t you call?**

One thing you had to know about Jungkook was that he definitely never stayed up doing homework. The guy was labeled a genius by god from the moment he developed a brain cell.

**Me**   
**The question is, why didn’t YOU call.**

**JK**   
**I asked first. But, I didn’t want to bother you. I assumed you had a reason to miss our lunch. You aren’t the type to forget.**

I wasn’t. Jungkook missed a few times because of things that came up, but not me. Yesterday was the first time I missed.

**Me**   
**You know me so well.**

**JK**   
**Are you not sleeping?**

**Me**   
**I will, once this guy stops texting me back.**

**JK**   
**Sounds like he’s a little obsessed with you.**

My heart felt strange in my chest. It got lighter, making it easier for me to breathe. I wanted to hear his voice tell me that everything was going to be okay. Tell me that this was just a phase I was going through, like growing pains. When I glanced down at my phone my hand was hovering over the call button next to this name. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?

I pressed the button and pressed it to my ear. After one ring, I heard his voice.

“I should text you at 3am more often if you plan on calling me,” his warm voice greeted me.

“Thanks for answering,” I paused considering, if I should add this second part. I let out a soft sigh. “I wanted to hear your voice.”

There was a moment of silence before I heard a soft smile in his exhale. “So, why did you skip our lunch then? My voice would’ve been there.”

I didn’t want him to worry about me and retrospectively, I was still doing much better. But, the 3am honesty hour wanted him to worry about me. I wanted someone to reassure me.  
“My nightmares are back. I can’t fall asleep for more than an hour at a time.” I was scared of the words coming out of my lips. Speaking it, made it seem so real.

“Hm... Was it the voice you were talking about?”

“Yeah,” I couldn’t find what else I could add. He was familiar with my anxiety attacks and moody-self. “I know the voice shouldn’t be something I should be…”

Jungkook’s voice broke through my rambling. “Hey, stop blaming yourself. It’s not your fault. How are you feeling right now?”

“Honestly, a lot better. I think talking to you helped,” I replied back.

I heard a soft laugh. “Are you just trying to make up for the missed lunch with me?”

I smiled back. “No, I don’t feel that bad about missing it. I’m just being _honest with you_.”

There was a comfortable silence between us. Jungkook’s soft exhale and inhale was enough to make me want to try closing my eyes again.

“You want me to come over tomorrow morning?”

My heavy eyelids felt like a feather again as they flow open. “What?”

“I want to see you tomorrow, so I am inviting myself over,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I know what you said. But why?”

“I want to see you?”

“Oh,” I replied, confused.

“You mean why do I want to see you? I don’t know, but I want to. _I’m just being honest with you, too_.”

My face felt like it was on fire. I want to dunk my head in a tub of ice cold water. I cleared my throat. “Okay.”

I heard his smile again. “Hey can I try something to help you sleep?”

“Give it a shot.”

“I’m going to sing you a song.”

I’ve never heard Jungkook sing before, but I’ve overheard some girls talking about it before. I asked him before to sing for me, but he always had some excuse to bring up instead.

“No way.”

“Yes way,” he laughed. "It's pretty bad so you'll want to sleep it off."

Pressing my phone to my ear, I faced my ceiling and closed my eyes. “I’m ready.”

_[We were so beautiful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnJSaOkLEAM) _

_We were so tragic_

_No other magic could ever compare_

_Lost myself, seventeen_

_Then you came, found me_

_No other magic could ever compare_

I held my breath to not disturb his soft spoken and angelic voice as it poured into my ears. The sad lyrics of the song floated along Jungkook’s melodic mutter as he sang along into the night. My thoughts faded and my eyelids softened like a warm comforter over my cold body. As the song came to an end, I didn’t know if I was dreaming. It was too good to be real.

Then, I heard his velvety voice again.

_“Good night, Nova.”_


End file.
